Party Jokes: Startling But Unnecessary

Here, I focus on a range of items and features that we use in life without giving them a second thought such as Coca Cola, body muscles and holding ones own breath. Though, most of these notes are not fundamentally necessary, they are such that you can use them for a good laugh, at a drinks party or for picking up women or men.

1) Coca-Cola: Did you know that its original colour was green?

2) Mohammed: Did you know that this is the most used name in the entire world?

3) Geographical Letters: Did you know that the name of each of the continents begins and concludes with the exact same alphabet? Do not believe that? Look up Asia, Europe, Africa, America, Antarctica and the rest.

4) Muscle Strength: Did you know that the strongest muscle in the entire body is that one which we use to lick a popsicle? Your tongue.

5) Credit Cards: In the United States, were you aware that each and every person has at least two credit cards?

6) An Antique Machine: The word for an old machine that was once used for writing letters and other documents is the largest word that one can make if they click only on a single row of their computer's keyboard: typewriter!

7) Blink: Men wink at women, but research has found out that the average woman blinks nearly two times more than the average man.

8) Suicide: Even though you might have wondered if it was possible, studies have discovered that it is impossible to kill oneself by simply holding in your breath.

9) Licking: However much you may try, you will never be able to lick your elbows.

10) Sneeze: Try sneezing. People will automatically answer you with a bless you greeting. Have you ever imagined why? Some say that this happens because a sneeze stops the functioning of the heart for a very tiny second.

11) The Blue Sky: Did you know that a pig, no matter how much they try, cannot look up into the sky?

12) Twisting Your Tongue: We have all dabbled with different tongue-twisters in our day. But do you know which is the toughest? Sixth sick sheiks sixth sheeps sick.

13) Ribs: Did you know that you should try not to sneeze too strongly. Why? A very powerful sneeze has the ability to cause a fracture in your ribcage. But, then again, if you try and withhold one, you stand the chance of breaking one of the many blood vessels in your neck or head. This could cause death.

14) Cards: Did you think that the Kings are all just random cards referring to random figures? No. Each one signifies a different king: Diamonds for Julius Caesar, Clubs for Alexander the Great, Spades for David and Hearts for Charlemagne.

15) And finally: Most everyone reading this (Caught You!) are trying to lick their elbows at this exact moment!

Conclusion: Most of these are not scientific facts, but they are hilarious, funny and can be used to lighten up the ambience when a conversation has gone dull. Use any and see your popularity rise up to great heights.Visit http://www.gambling-portal.com for more jokes.

Source: Free Articles

Cool Friends In Crazy Places

Ben and Carl are friends. Ben is 21 and Carl is 22 years old. They do lots of things together. They like to challenge each other. Actually, Carl does most of the challenging. Ben just goes along with most of his schemes to prove that he was not afraid. He wanted to keep Carl as a friend, and keep his own ego intact.

Most of the time the challenges were harmless. They would see who could talk to the prettiest girl or who could throw the longest football pass. Every once in a while the challenges were borderline stupid. One time Ben was riding down the street, when he saw a club with a bunch of motorcycles parked outside.

The bikes looked really cool and Ben wondered what was going on inside the place. The sign on the building read Delta Motorcycle Club. He knew this was an opportunity to beat Carl at a challenge. He drove over and picked up Carl. They rode by the club. That is when he made the challenge. He said I bet you want go in that club.

Carl said are you stupid, those guys do not want outsiders. Ben said I guess I win, I went in there yesterday. They did not say anything to me. Carl said you liar prove it. Ben reached in his pocket and pulled out a coin. He said they sell these in there and I bought this one yesterday. Carl was starting to believe Ben. He could not let Ben have the satisfaction of beating him.

Ben persisted, he said I guess I know who is the man. Carl said OK punk, Ill go in there just to shut you up. Carl got out of the car and went up to the building and walked in. The doors closed behind him. At first, everything seem all right. He thought, man I bet Ben was lying. I do not see any place to by coins. To his surprise the place was well organized.

Then all of a sudden, he heard a bell ring. An announcement came over the public address system. It said, we have our next contestant. It seems that they have real fights on Tuesdays. Whoever walks in the door next had to fight the previous winner. It was Tuesday and Carl had walked in the door next. 2 guys came toward him to take him to the center of the club where they kept the fight ring.

He spent the next few minutes trying to talk his way out of the contest. He finally had to pay them 75 dollars to let him leave the club in one piece. They escorted him to door and told him never to set foot in there again. When he came out, Ben asked him how it went. He said you should know you went in yesterday.

He just looked at Ben and said you owe me 75 dollars. He also told Ben never to bring him there again. Ben persisted, and Carl finally told him the whole story. Ben is still Carls friend but he has quit the challenges out fear that someone might get hurt.

If you have friends that like to frequent places that are obviously dangerous, you may want limit your contact with them. Always have a self defense and safety strategy in mind in case of emergency.

The Alternative To Penis Enlargement Surgery

In the past few decades, men who wanted to enlarge their penis size had to go through a special enlargement operation, one that today is decreasing in popularity due to the wide variety of natural alternatives. One such alternative that even gets the approval from top enlargement surgeons is the penis enlargement traction device.

What is a traction device?
The traction device or extender is a small, lightweight device that fits in the palm of your hand. The penis is pulled through a silicone ring at the base of the device and secured into the tray at the opposite end.

A silicone loop is fastened around the head to hold the penis in place. Two extension bars sit along the shaft and provide the traction force. You simply adjust these metal bars as your penis grows in length and girth.

The power of the device comes in the ease by which it can both lengthen and thicken the penis. Worn for up to 8 hours per day, the total amount of use determines your results.

But what advantages does it have over conventional surgery?

First of all and one of the biggest differences is in cost. A typical penis augmentation surgery will run around $8,000. The device however can be purchased online and only costs about $300. Same or even better results, huge drop in price.

But let us consider what is involved in the process of undergoing surgery. There is first a consultation that will probably cost around $300 by itself. Then there are more doctor visits for testing and for the actual operations.

The surgery could include separate visits for adding the length and another for adding the girth and both can be quite painful. Then, after the actual surgery is done there is a period of healing for up to 6 months.

The device however is completely painless to use. Because you are in control 100% of the time, you determine your own comfort level as the device obediently applies whatever stretching force you set it to.

With the device, there is absolutely no healing period. When you are happy with your gains, you can simply stop using the device and your gains will stay with you forever.

Again, the total time you use the device determines your overall gains. For example, if you wear it for 2 hours a day, then obviously your goal of 8 inches will take longer to reach than if you use it for seven or eight hours per day.

Another issue is privacy. Most men are embarrassed as it is of having a smaller than average sized penis, and they do not want to call any more attention to the matter with their partner or their doctor. Unfortunately, a series of doctor visits is necessary after the surgery to keep a close eye on any side effects that may develop.

The penis enlargement device however offers complete privacy. Men can choose to wear the device at home while watching TV, reading a book, on the commute to work, or even in their sleep (my recommended option).

What penis enlargement surgery is like
The surgery will mean adding fat to the penis from other parts of the body for more thickness, and will require cutting ligaments that hold parts of the penis inside the body to add length. This is a completely unnatural approach to penis enlargement and does not always provide permanent results.

Common side effects are bleeding, bruising, and scarring. Also sometimes the fat will be absorbed back into the body and need to be replaced through another operation. Another problem is that due to the length procedure, the penis may no longer bend at a 90 degree angle without the added support of the ligaments that were cut out.

Again, the device represents a completely safe natural alternative to surgery. It requires no prescription as it is already a fully qualified type 1 medical device that is already approved with the CE mark. Your only job is to adjust the metal extension bars and measure every 2-3 weeks until you are happy with your gains.

Thankfully, men now have a safe completely natural alternative to consider. Overall, penis enlargement is a very important decision that can improve intimate relationships, and bring those who use it more confidence and success in life.

Getting in Shape To Wear A Bikini

Do you love summer, but hate the way you look in your swimwear? Get into shape now to wear a bikini this coming summer. You will look great, feel good about yourself, and have a great time enjoying the sun and the water without worrying about your body. First, take an honest look at your diet. Is it well balanced or do you live on junk all day long with a meal or two thrown in there? How much exercise do you get?

Cutting back on sugar that turns to fat will reduce your calorie intake and help you lose weight. You will also have more energy. That extra energy can be used to motivate you to get moving more. Fewer calories with more exercise is going to result in losing weight as well as toning up your body. Losing weight is great, but you do not want loose, flappy skin hanging out of your bikini.

While any type of exercise will help you to lose weight and tone your body, some exercises with work better than others to get your body into bikini shape. First, focus on your upper body. Doing light aerobics with weights up to five pounds will help loosen you up and firm you up. You might even consider some basic weight lifting two or three times per week. For the lower body, walking and running are great types of exercise. You will want to include sit ups and lunges to help firm up your stomach and thighs. Taebo is a great workout for your entire body that is really fun. It is also a great cardio workout.

The key is to find a diet plan that is healthy that you will be satisfied with. If you feel you are missing out, then your willpower will not last. You want to find changes that you can stick with for the rest of your life. The same is true with exercise. The key is to find types of exercise that are going to motivate you to continue. You want to look forward to your workout rather than dread it.

Making such changes is not easy. However, keep in mind the type of bikini you want to wear this summer for days when you have lost all motivation. These changes will make you feel better, have more energy, live a healthier lifestyle, and most of all look great in your new bikini!

Source: Free Articles

Trend of Making Friends and Romance with Online Dating

Online dating websites create the opportunity for people to meet potential partners and friends online. Although many people go out specifically looking to find romance, the general trend is that most people upload a profile to a social networking website and meet partners online in much the same way that you would offline. When you go out of your way to find a date, it is often much harder than leaving it to come along naturally when you meet someone who you click with. When you meet someone and immediately show an interest in them, it can be difficult to really get to know each other when there is a pressure that your relationship has to materialize into one of romance. When you take a more laid back approach, you can remain friends with some people, and consider dating those that you feel you have made a bond with.

Online social networking sites are also great to meet potential partners because of the relative anonymity that you can maintain from the outset. The same goes with meeting friends as well; you can talk to them without having to share your telephone number, address and other personal information which is obviously necessary for a relationship offline. Therefore choosing not to email them back or even not to respond in the first place is perfectly acceptable etiquette and you will not have to worry about any consequences that could prevail.

On the other hand, when you do meet someone that you like, the anonymity offered by the internet is potentially less favorable – you have no way to verify they are who they say they are. That is why when you meet someone you met online for the first time, it is best to suggest a meeting in a busy place, and to consider suggesting that you both bring friends along with you. Not only will this be safer, it will also be less uncomfortable since you will both have people there that you know.

Many people who are nervous offline find meeting people online much easier, and that can be true of meeting friends as well. Despite that, you should keep in mind that should you wish for your online relationship to flourish offline you need to remain true to who you are, and the way that you are comfortable of acting and conducting yourself. Although you may be tempted to tell white lies in order to entice the person to like you more, it is very important that you stay true to yourself.

When you go on a dating site at first, you may have problems trying to find people to talk with at first since you have just started out. One great way to do this is to search the site to find people that you think you have the potential to bond with. If your offline friends participate as well, you could start talking with their friends, and friends of their friends, and so on. Over time you can be sure to meet great new people from all around the world.

6 Little Spending Mistakes That Can Cost You Your Financial Freedom

Can't seem to get ahead financially? Debts piling up? Maybe you're making some of these mistake unknowingly. These mistakes listed below will help you understand where you may be going wrong and how to get back on track quickly. You can be debt free.

Mistake 1. Living Beyond Your Means

This is the real cause of your worry and stress. If you are spending more than you are earning, whose money are you spending? It's the credit card provider's or the bank's. The cost of this money is interest.

The way out - Make a Commitment to yourself only to spend within your income limits. Maybe you could increase your income (or cash in) by applying for more skilled positions, selling some of your unused articles or assets. Is the second car really a necessity? What about working out ways to make your hobby pay for itself?

Why not find ways to reduce your spending? How much would you save each year if you decided not to have the daily coffee shop coffee? Why not make your work lunch each day rather than buying it? Commit to only buying the necessities.

Mistake 2. Paying Off Less Than the Full Credit Card Balance Each Month

Get this debt under control and your life will be much easier. If you are like many others and only pay the minimum balance each month, the interest on the interest makes those purchases oh so expensive.

The way out - Find ways to put aside more money to apply to the credit cards. It will take time to reach this goal. However, if you don't make a start now you may never pay them off. This situation did not occur overnight and neither will the solution. But, by diligence and commitment you'll get there.

Mistake 3. Not Really Knowing Your Financial Situation

Before you can set meaningful goals and develop savings strategies you need to know your financial situation now. The best, proven and tested method by far, is by developing your own personal budget. This is not hard to do. Please don't give up now. Just follow these simple steps:

The way out -
a)Find your latest credit card statements. Write down all the unpaid balances.
b)Are there any other unpaid debts (not home or car) then include these balances as well.
c)List out your (or family) monthly income. Only the amounts "brought home". Include all types of income.
d) Work out your monthly spending. List out where all the money goes. Don't leave anything out.
e) Minus the monthly spending total from the monthly income total and review the answer.
This will give you an initial idea as to whether you are living within your means or on borrowed money.

Mistake 4. Continually Adding to Your Debt

If debt has got you into this situation it is critically important not to add to the state of affairs and thus make it worse.

The way out - cut up the credit cards, keeping only 1 for emergencies. Don't buy on impulse. Ask yourself twice or three times before you buy anything "Do I really need this?" before you hand over your hard-earned money. Don't buy at the height of the fashion or fad. Commit to never paying full retail for anything. Get it on sale or negotiate a lower price.

Mistake 5. Spending All Your Income

It may sound OK to spend any money you earn but there are risks attached to this strategy. How are you going to pay for emergency items? What about major car repairs. What about major electrical appliance replacement? Are you going to pay for these on credit? Bad idea! How are you going to save for a substantial deposit on the next car?

The way out - Once you've prepared your budget you will clearly see what you need to do to put some income aside for other needs such are emergencies and repairs.

Mistake 6. Spending Without Caring About Your Future

Unless you are planning for your future and financial security, you cannot be really happy. There are always worries lurking in your mind about how you would survive in a financial emergency if you have no savings. It can be very rewarding to see how quickly your savings multiply over time with only a small investment each payday.

The way out - Take stock of your life and realize that tomorrow won't look after itself. It needs your attention. Keep some funds aside to put away for your retirement, children's college costs, emergencies, holidays and major purchases.

Avoid these 6 spending mistakes and you'll be well on your way to financial freedom. Guaranteed.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People

Bad things do happen to good people. Each of us experiences situations where we feel robbed, slandered, mis-understood, cheated, or simply jerked around in life. The end result may be the loss of a job, a friend, a love interest, a business deal, or the creation of a rift between family members. The pain we feel is very real, very deep, and very private. Often it's impossible for people around us to understand the scope, or the depth of the pain we carry as a result of the emotional wounding we’ve experienced. What then, do we do when life really hurts?

There are varying degrees of pain we often feel in response to situations inflicted upon us by other people. Some levels of pain are small, and we have the ability to let the situation roll off our back, letting us carry on in life as if nothing happened. For some, there are situations where the wound is so deep, we find ourselves crippled by it, not knowing how to get out from under the pain and the hurt that results. It’s in the midst of surrounding, choking pain that many people bog down in knowing what to do, or how to cope.

Through the course of my own painful experiences, I have learned and identified key factors that help us deal with life’s pain. Other people's list may include additional points or comments, but I believe there are a small few handful of steps we must all take in dealing with life's hurts.

First. Privately admit to yourselves, you've been hurt! Own it. Embrace it. Everytime we lose something of value in life, we will enter a grieving process. Recognize this and be honest about it. It’s important to start at a place of honesty, recognizing your pain for what it is, a grieving process. This process may seem so insignificant, but for many there is tremendous difficulty in admitting, " I am feeling really hurt by this situation, and as a result, I've lost something very precious to me."

Secondly, (and this step in the process, is no where near as easy as it sounds for it often goes against our human nature) we need to forgive our offender. Understand, that by forgiving our offender, we are not letting him or her off the hook as far as consequences are concerned. By forgiving, we’re letting our self off the hook. We're giving up any motivation or thought of revenge. When a person refuses to forgive, they choose to carry the pain, the anger, the bitterness, of the situation around with them every minute of the day and night. To a person who doesn't forgive, the situation becomes an emotional wound that festers with compounding or secondary emotional infection. Until we forgive our offender, our offender ends up owning our emotions.

(Many people have a poor understanding of what forgiveness is. For those who find themselves in this position, a simple internet search under the heading "Understanding Forgiveness" will produce many good articles and aides on this subject.)

The third step in the process of responding to life’s deep hurt’s is to find a "safe friend" and share your pain with them. We all have friends in our lives, but what is meant by the term "safe friend"? "Safe friends" are friends who listen to you, are empathetic with you, can advise you honestly, but the most important quality in a "safe friend", is the person’s ability to respect and maintain confidentiality. Not all friends are "safe friends". "Safe friends" are often few and far between. "Safe friends" can be a current friend, a counselor, a priest, a therapist, a law enforcement officer, a lawyer, someone who’s been through a similar situation, or a person recommended to you by a friend because your friend feels they simply can’t help you, but know of a person who can.

Fourth, at some point in our healing process, we need to decide to carry on in life. If we don’t carry on in life, then we’re choosing to let our offender win, and we’re choosing to be our offender’s victim. While this can be difficult to hear when we’re in the depths of a painful experience, being a "victim" is a choice, it’s a mental state, and it can be terribly crippling. For those caught in a victim mentality, it's important to understand, they are in the position of strength, for they can choose to no longer be a victim by removing themselves from the conflict. If you feel you are being hurt by a person, and you find a healthy way to remove yourself from that situation, then that person has no more emotional power over you.

Often when people struggle with life’s hurts and pains, little thoughts of revenge enter into their minds. In the heat of the moment, many arguements can be made to seemingly justify getting back at a person, but is it the right decision. Acts of revenge are never considered a consequence. Revenge is one type of offence being exchanged for another. People who harbor desires for revenge are people who struggle with the aspect of forgiveness.

Recently, while in a conversation with a close friend, our conversation took on a more serious note. She began to share with me her critical situation of a serious internal family conflict between her and her brother. The situation had become so difficult my friend was considering buying a gun to use against her abusive drug addicted sibling, if necessary. Her hurt was real, as was the pain caused her, but the use of a gun is not a solution, for the act of pulling the trigger and ending the life of her brother would haunt her in years to come at every family reunion, family wedding, family birthday, or family holiday. Her drug addicted brother would end up owning her emotions from his grave. There are many people in serious situation like my close friend, and it's for this reason I share her story. In this particular case, and as I advised her, my friend's solution lay in forgiveness, then seeking out a local "safe friend" in the law enforcement or legal community who could help her establish safe legal boundaries with this sibling, until he gained control of himself, and his social behaviors. For my friend, her boundaries might take on the form of having her extended family join her in introducing to the brother a drug rehabilitation intervention, perhaps it'll take a restraining order, or perhaps lifting him totally out of his environment cutting him off from his drug source by giving him jail time. This may sound extreme for a family member to do, but remember this line, if you remember no other..."Better alive in a cell, than dead on the street!" The establishing of proper healthy boundaries is always a healthy life direction, and a good way for people to remove themselves from the role of a victim.

When life really hurts, there are positive solutions that empower us to live life to the fullest in spite of our wounding. We may have to change friends, and distance ourselves from wreckless and immature associations, but we can bounce back, we can smile again, we can laugh, and we can rise above our circumstance. The choice is always ours.